Dr. First Month Rent Supplied has recently uncovered an artifact which appears to originate in my especial realm of interest—20th Century American culture. It represents a female Earthling wrapped in what is evidently "Sunday go to war clothing" (as Christian warriors seem to have called them). Professor Supplied argues in his paper, "When Body and Soul Become One" (genuflect 122,349) that this artifact also proves conclusively that Earth people's skin could mutate into the colors with which they dyed their body wrappings. At this time in history, he believes, they had learned to be like cameleons, a being which during that period in Earth history could change its spots "like a leopard", so we are told. We Martians have seen evidence that during this period of time, many on the land mass to the West of the big water called Atlantis were very unstable and changed their talk points as often as they changed their body wrappings. During one brief period, my own studies show that while they were busy practicing life-ending procedures in a country called Iwak by the respected commentator, Bawbaw Wawwers, several members in a party called "Publicans" very soon changed their spots when another group called, "Dems", seemed to have gained power in the land West of the big waters after several decades of being "sent to Coventry", as it was called when people did not like the smell of your breath and so avoided having any contact with you "face to face", as they called it. They would, however, according to my paper, "Back To Front To Back Again" (genuflect 345,723) speak to one another "behind the back", so my studies show. These Earthlings often spoke behind each other's backs so as to avoid face to face odor transfer or the sight of crooked chewing devices. Crooked eating tools were much maligned in those centuries (a problem which, fortunately, we Martians do not have) and so they would often cover their in-mouth grinding devices with wire and other things which they considered to be beautiful. No understanding these Earthlings.The strongest evidence for Professor First Month Rent Supplied's artifact representing those features of a "militant feminist" or "feminazi" (so the fat man with the small, drug-addled brain called them) is that she seems to have burned her "bra", the covering with which female Earthlings hid their baby-feeding devices from which larger males also seemed to try and get nurishment, acording to limited information coming through the good work of Professor Two Room Apt in his seminal paper, "Motels and Other Earthling Breeding Grounds" (genuflect 345,009). He has been diligently reading through and viewing that terribly boring stuff called "porno" by male Earthlings who seem to have had a bottomless apetite for the silly stuff in which grown men and women rub together and utter loud and endless grunts and groans. We have yet to fully understand this Earthling behavior, but we think it may have something to do with streetside vending as so many females in certain large cities often offered "things" for sale by the byways and streets of those large cities.
Anyhow, we shall understand more and better as we continue our researches into the ever surprising Earthling culture.
