MATRIXII

The late Martian archaeologist, Dr. Elegant Loft w/hot Tub, before his untimely late stage foundation collapse, uncovered some very exciting artifacts on Earth. The artifact below was uncovered during his recent dig in genuflect 235,994 on the GoodOlUSofA Continent. Before Dr. Loft's discovery, we Martians thought that we were the only civilization to understand Matrix technology by which many of our neighboring soft bodied species around the Cosmos are put into suspended animation and sent on virtual vacations.

Some soft-bodied species around the Cosmos now use matrix technology to imprison unruly populations. Others use it to titillate their gonads. 

One rare piece of artifact does hint that Earthlings may have also used some sort of matrix technology to do something to their gonads. The artifact is a piece of what they called "film" showing two Earthlings entering a chamber and coming out in what appears to be a titillated condition. A woody being called an "Allen" enters a cylinder with a female Earthling whose name we do not know, and when they exit the cylinder, we think we can discern gonad titillation in the male and excitation in the female. Other species in our time use matrix technology to, as the song goes, "Wacoviate the Affirmative, Don't Mess the Inbetweens".

What Dr. Tub discovered is a representational artifact that I believe shows an Earthling male in suspension in a matrix or, at least, his entrance into or exit from a matrix. Whatever we may think, we can at least determine that the Earthling in the Matrix was involved in a practice they called gardening.

We recognize the hose and the stream of liquid stuff coming out its end that Earthlings call "water". Earthlings seem to have needed what they called "water" to immerse their bodies in, to pull scaled beings from for "pan frying", and to fill round rubber "baboons" (sic) with which they could then hurl at each other while practicing the human art they called "laughing".

Laughing was a widespread Earthling practice and many references to it are found in Earthling writings. One such writing was "He who laughs last, laughs best" which we believe had to do with a practice which occured when Earthlings passed into the earth. Earthlings would stand around and "laugh" at ceremonies devoted to honoring those "who had gone before" (as they phrased it in another artifact in our possession). "Last" laughing came in sequence after "first" laughing. Thus, he who laughs "last" laughs "best". It may have something to do with being in a laughing state about not having to go into the earth which seems to be the last activity any human being performed while inhabiting the earth, an activity which no Earthling seems to have enjoyed doing.

Those water uses mentioned are only three uses to which Earthlings put their liquids. There were many others.